coco xu : my journey with SOCIAL ANXIETY | tips on overcoming it

Reference : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M50ZMJ_exg&ab_channel=cocoxu

Percobaan 1

Percobaan 2

Percobaan 3

00:00

Hello everyone, this is coco, and today's video is going to be about social anxiety, I mentioned in my video on "how to become more confident" that I used to be very socially anxious when I say socially anxious, I'm not just referring to being introverted but the physical reactions that I get when I get put into social situations 

00:34

if you ask my mom my sister or anyone around me, when I was very little I had such a trouble going to public spaces or going up to customer service people to ask for anything so even if it's over the phone if I pick up the phone and it's voice that I don't recognize I panic and if I go to McDonald's and they didn't give me tomato sauce slash ketchup with my fries I cannot for up there and ask for it i'll stand around the counter for ages 

01:03

eyeing out if I see any like ketchup and if I don't see it I just walk away and even if they come up to me and approach me, hey how can I help you, I don't really have the guts to be like, hey I'm looking for ketchup i'll just make a very quick eye contact and just leave so that was me growing up for a big part of it and then it kind of you know evolved into me in like a social situation where in high school you know people have these little house parties and i'll go there and feel like oh my gosh, I don't have anything to offer in this conversation, 

01:34

I don't watch TV shows that they watch, I don't play the sports that they played, I didn't make out with the boys that they made out with, and I felt like just the person that I am is not interesting enough for people to stop and talk to me, and if i say something there's very high chance of me making a fool of myself and that point of my life, my english was pretty bad and often times I would make grammatical mistakes so that really fit into my social anxiety, 

02:02

when conversing with people, who are native English speakers and consequently. my social anxiety often ties to panic attacks where I would have to go into the bathroom, I kind of just accepted the fact that I'm not a sociable person and that I don't have to be, you know I have so many hobbies outside of socializing with people like next time they ask me to come to a place like this I'll just stay at home and watch Netflix or knit or paint or do something else 

02:30

and just not be you know vulnerable and that kind of environment, but everything changed and as you can see now, I have no trouble articulating and presenting myself and you know expressing my feeling and sharing my ideas and under social situations I can usually handle it pretty well at this point, pretty well, so how did I fix it, let's jump into it, first of all obviously we need to figure out the core problem, I would like to consider myself as a problem solver, so I always try to find the core of an issue.

03:04

and with social anxiety the core is self consciousness and it's not just like insecurity that we're talking about in this case it's literally the consciousness that you have on yourself, you always put all your emphasis on yourself and you magnify every little thing  that you do so to fix that I tried shifting the consciousness from myself to other or more specifically to another person 

03:34

And what I did is when I'm under a social situation especially if there are a lot of people that are talking all at once I try to put all my attention on one person and just watch them, it doesn't have to be acquaintance with someone that I know but if I watch everything that they do and if I pay attention to the thing that they have to say, I kind of lose track of myself and the perk to that is that not only are you less anxious because you are loosening up your senses, but you also appear to be more likeable